Friday, April 27, 2007

Swim Oddity

Somebody has been wondering where Beach Bum has gone. Well, like I said, if you want regular - keep sucking prunes. If you must know, and you know who "you" are - I've been up to my oxters with this OU course project. Last time I got near to a beach was St.Ives last Sunday - and that's far too way back for my liking. In the meantime, all that swim training is finally starting to pay off. You've heard of the Rorschach test? OK - well, analyse this! Answers on a postcard please, I don't run comment moderation here.



Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Life's A Beach - And Then You Die...

... but for one fortunate bloke who had croaked it while messing about in the surf, resurrection was on hand courtesy of the Bondi beach Lifeguards. Fair dinkum!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Skimpy Bikinis Don't Mean It Ain't Sport


Last week there was a photography theme - this time it's bottoms and as this shapely little photomontage shows, I'm clearly not the only Bum on the beach. As much as I love the ocean, there's always enough entertainment on-shore to keep me from getting bored between waves.
Now, unfortunately, the closest I've come to Beach Volleyball is an Xbox game but I reckon if there was more of this in Cornwall, I could develop a greater enthusiasm for spectator sports.

When Beach Volleyball was finally welcomed into the bosom of the Olympic family back in 1996, there was an outcry from "conservative groups" (think Deliverance extras with suits). Shameless hussies with more butt than bikini - an outrage. Bah humbug! Considering the Greeks that invented the bally old games liked their sports starkers, there's surely there's an argument that "au naturelle" should be "de rigueur".



To find out more about the sport you could check out the dreadfully tedious looking Beach Volleyball site for the sport in the UK. Or you could enjoy the infinitely better photo gallery here. By the way, blokes play Beach Volleyball - did I forget to mention that? And, no, I don't want to see the photographs.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

More Surfboats & Speedos Up Your Bum



What is art? Haven't figured that one out yet but gaze long enough at a masterpiece like Katsushika Hokusai's Great Wave and if you find your mind tumbling round and washing up on different shores, then you may be onto something...

Cut to Perranporth beach one summer evening not so long ago. Fred is an Aussie. Aussie blokes have the modesty gene removed at birth. It is bottled and then shipped back to England in bulk for English babies where it is in great demand. This is one reason why Fred can stand on a beach in Cornwall, and watch his (mainly English / Cornish) club mates in a surfboat, arms crossed, and tell Beach Bum that "we (meaning Australians) own the sport".
But I have news for Fred, I reckon it ain't the Australians that "own" it - it's the Japanese. They've been at it for yonks. Take a closer look at the picture (technically a woodblock print). That's not a tsunami as often claimed but an okinami - translation - a big MF of a wave. These guys are out there racing. Need more evidence?


OK, the sweep's got a different take on things but he's a man on a mission. I rest my case. And the fact that Sea Nymph keeps wanting to watch that clip from Pete with the blokes and their Speedos hoisted up their bums. Well, I was struggling to come up with an explanation. A bit like the hats I suppose. There is a reason and if you click on the clip below you, like me, will attain enlightenment. Grasshopper out. Time for a Jamesons. This Lent is at an end. Subliminal or what?