Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Indoboard, Balance 360 and all that jazz

As I mentioned earlier, Beach Bum finally succumbed to the hype and bought himself an Indoboard. Early days yet, but it rocks, literally. I can feel my thews strengthen by the day and soon I'll be able to kick down doors and bench press twice my own body weight while whistling Dixie.

This wobbling on a board business seems to be catching on. I've already spotted several other similar products out there. The Balance 360 Board, for example, has its own variants slickly monikered as the "Fatty" and "Skinny" Boards. There's sophisticated marketing for you, eh? I can't comment on the Balance 360 as all I've got is their website to go on, but "garage" and "knocked up" springs to mind.

Mind you, for all those DIY enthusiasts out there, when you run out of stamps to stick in your albums, you might try to make your own like this girl did. I wonder can she come round and do some shelves for me?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Plastic Planet

It couldn't happen here, here could it? That's the waters off Manila Bay and this is life for one poor geezer. Make you wonder if the earth's core isn't churning out plastic instead of all the lava that we're told is broiling there. But never underestimate the ability of our species to well and truly feck things up.

Beach Bum dropped Nippers 1 & 2 off at footie practice and took a much needed stroll along Perranporth strand today. The wind dropped, and the weather turned positively balmy after the recent cold snap. Messy surf and more dogs on the beach than humans. Clubhouse all closed up. Thinking of that cappuccino at the Filling Station.

There used to be a time when you could stroll along a beach, watch your feet flip sand from heel to toe and see more shells, seaweed and mermaid's purses than polymer. No more, I fear.

I don't think there was one square foot of beach that wasn't plasticised. Wish the money that was invested in setting up organisations like this was diverted here.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Taking The (Metal) Mickey

Of all the creatures found along the shoreline, none, perhaps, is more curious than ferrum deprehensio, better known as the weirdo metal detector. Typically solitary by nature, the metal detector can often be found scrounging for pennies engaged in their foraging behaviour as the sun sets and the last holiday maker has left the beach. They will - in extremis - scavenge along the foreshore, but their preference is to hover incessantly beyond the tideline - in particular over recently vacated spots where Beach Bums, Nippers and holiday makers have made temporary nests.

This particular sub species has, in almost every respect, the colouring and physical characteristics of homo sapiens but is in fact an invertebrate. Their shuffling gait and poor auditory awareness, along with a tendency to wear Pac-A-Macs even in extreme heat are generally accepted as distinguishing features.

Their sensory equipment is their most prized possession along with a trowel and when they gather in groups - an infrequent occurrence - there is much competitive display of this sensory apparatus.

Whilst baiting of any wild animal cannot be encouraged, it is hard to resist the harmless sport of "coin flicking" when one comes across this peculiar beastie. I have found best results are to approach the animal from head on (they are nearly always staring at their feet) and flick a sovereign into the sand just ahead of their sensory equipment. Feign casual surprise, followed by rapturous delight when you bend down to pick up said coin. You will be treated to much clucking and harrumphing by the ferrum deprehensio. Enjoy!

The life span of the creature is usually substantial. Occasionally, one will explode after having dredged up some unexploded ordinance. Ah - cruel nature!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Surfboats For Adrenalin Junkies

Surfing and body-boarding have become so popular in the UK that there's a tendency for some of the other beach & ocean-related sports and activities to sit in the shade of the surfer's swell.

But take 4 rowers and a "sweep" or steersman, 180 kg of fibreglass and some mighty wave action and you have the opportunity to sample an adrenalin rush that's up there with any big wave rider. I'm not talking about Gig racing, of which there's been a renaissance in Cornwall, but it's pumped up, full on cousin - the Surfboat.

Beach Bum reckons that the craic that Surfboat action has to offer is going to appeal to more and more beach heads. Both men and ladies teams from Perranporth Surf Lifesaving Club have been championing this sport for some time now along with several other Cornish clubs. Take a look at the action below and check out the UK Surf Rowers League for more info.